Archive for September, 2008

尤利西斯

September 30, 2008

Ulysses by Lord Tennyson 丁尼生:尤利西斯

Translated by Springhero 雄伯譯

32hsiung@pchome.com.tw

 

It little profits that an idle king,

By this still hearth, among these barren crags,

Matched with an aged wife, I mete and dole

Unequal laws unto a savage race,

That hoard, and sleep, and feed, and know not me.

 

百無聊賴莫過當個閑散王

爐邊靜悄悄,峭壁也荒涼

老妻相伴,我發號施令

這些蠻荒子民總算擺得平

只是他們畜積吃睡,哪知道我心?

 

I cannot rest from travel; I will drink

Life to the lees. All times I have enjoyed

Greatly, have suffered greatly, both with those

That loved me, and alone; on shore, and when

Through scudding drifts the rainy Hyades

Vexed the dim sea. I am become a name;

 

我無法休息不遠遊,告別避風處

生命始酣暢。沿途中我曾歡喜雀躍

曾痛苦難當,或與愛我夥伴,或獨行

狂風暴雨中疾航越過

暗黑的海域,我已成知名人物。

 

For always roaming with a hungry heart

Much have I seen and known—cities of men

And manners, climates, councils, governments,

Myself not least, but honored of them all–

And drunk delight of battle with my peers,

Far on the ringing plains of windy Troy.

 

因為飢渴的心總是在漫遊

城邦我去過,民情我熟稔

外加風俗、氣候、議會跟政府

不乏眾望所歸者,我亦忝列;

我曾與戰友暢享戰鬥的歡樂

在那遙遠的特洛平原,風沙中刀劍鏗鏘。

 

I am a part of all that I have met:

Yet all experience is an arch where through

Gleams that untraveled world whose margin fades

Forever and forever when I move.

How dull it is to pause, to make an end,

To rust unburnished, not to shine in use!!

 

所見所識,我是參與的一份子

可是所經所歷猶如拱廊閃爍著

尚未旅行過的世界光輝,邊緣逐漸消退

隨著我永遠不斷前進。

多麼沉悶,若是停頓安逸下來

若是聽任生鏽黯淡,不再煥發光輝!

 

As though to breathe were life! Life piled on life

Were all too little, and of one to me

Little remains; but every hour is saved

From the eternal silence, something more,

A bringer of new things; and vile it were

For some three suns to store and hoard myself,

And this gray spirit yearning in desire

To follow knowledge like a sinking star,

Beyond the utmost bound of human thought.

 

好似能呼吸就是活著!一代傳一代

對我太過於瑣碎,太一成不變

沒什麼好自負;但是每個時刻不同於

永恆的沉默,若嘗試更多

新鮮事物源源不絕;這是多麼暴殄

讓我心中的三個太陽貯藏起來

我灰黯的精神熱切渴望

追尋知識,像顆逐漸沉落的星

要越過人類思想的最遠疆域。

 

  This is my son, mine own Telemachus,

To whom I leave the scepter and the isle—

Well-loved of me, discerning to fulfill

This labor, by slow prudence to make mild

A rugged people, and through soft degrees

Subdue them to the useful and the good.

 

這是我兒子,鐵立馬丘士

我傳與他權杖與島嶼

他受我鍾愛,明辨履行職務

謹慎翼翼,教化蠻荒子民

恩威並施,使他們做有用之事

善良的行為

 

Most blameless is he, centered in the sphere

Of common duties, decent not to fail

In offices of tenderness, and pay

Meet adoration to my household gods,

When I am gone. He works his work, I mine.

 

幾乎無可挑剔,他專心一意於

這些日常職責,不敢稍有疏忽

在伺服神明方面,他奉獻祭拜

對於家祠諸神恭敬有加

即使我不在家中。我倆各有其職。

 

There lies the port; the vessel puffs her sail;

There gloom like the dark, broad seas. My mariners,

Souls that have toiled, and wrought, and thought with me—

That ever with a frolic welcome took

The thunder and the sunshine, and opposed

Free hearts, free foreheads—you and I are old;

 

港口就在那兒,船隻已張帆

朝黯黑的汪洋大海。我的水手

曾與我一同勞苦工作,目標相同的伙伴

帶著興高采烈的歡欣,承受日曬

及雷雨,欣然承受的

是自由的心跟自由的前額,

如今你與我皆老矣!

 

Old age hath yet his honor and his toil.

Death closes all; but something ere the end,

Some work of noble note, may yet be done,

Not unbecoming men that strove with gods.

The lights begin to twinkle from the rocks;

The long day wanes; the slow moon climbs; the deep

Moans round with many voices. Come, my friends.

‘Tis not too late to seek a newer world.

 

老年人依舊有他的榮譽跟勞苦,

死亡覆蓋一切,但是結束之前尚有可為

高貴名聲的作為依舊待我完成

人與眾神爭競誰較不朽並非不宜。

陽光開始從山岩上頭黯淡閃爍

長日將盡,月亮緩慢上升

海洋深處濤聲哀哀。來吧,朋友!

尋找一個新的世界猶不嫌遲。

 

Push off, and sitting well in order smite

The sounding furrows; for my purpose holds

To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths

Of all the western stars, until I die.

It may be that the gulfs will wash us down

It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,

And see the great Achilles, whom we knew.

 

揚帆,大家各就各位,用力划槳

乘風破浪前進,我的目標是要

航向落日的那一端,沐浴於

所有西方的星辰之下,永不罷休。

也許,灣流會將我們沖走

也許,我們將抵達快樂之島

跟我們相識的英雄阿提立相會。

 

Though much is taken, much abides and though

We are not now that strength which in old days

Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are—

One equal temper of heroic hearts,

Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will

To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

 

雖然我們喪失許多,仍然還有許多

雖然我們的力氣不再像以前那樣

可以撼天震地,我們依舊,依舊

同樣為英雄的情懷所引誘

時間跟命運使我們虛弱,但是意志堅強

要奮鬥、要尋求、要探險、永不屈服。

我結束我開始

September 29, 2008

The Four Quartet by Thomas Eliot

Translated by Springhero 雄伯

32hsiung@pchome.com.tw

 

East Coker 東和村

 

Home is where one starts from. As we grow older,

The world becomes stranger, the pattern more complicated

Of dead and living. Not the intense moment

Isolated, with no before and after,

But a lifetime burning in every moment

And not the lifetime of one man only

But of old stones that cannot be deciphered,

There is a time for the evening under starlight,

As time for the evening under lamplight

( The evening with the photograph album).

Love is most nearly itself

When here and now cease to matter.

 

家是我們開始之地。隨我們成長,

世界變得更陌生,變得更複雜的

是生者與死者的形態,非激情時刻

彼此孤立,無過往,無未來。

但一生卻又是燃燒於每一刻,

而且還不僅是一個人的一生,

無法理解的墓銘薪傳亦是。

星光下的夜晚是燃燒時刻

如同燈火中的夜晚是燃燒時刻

(瀏覽相片簿的夜晚)

愛最近乎真實

忘懷此地何地,今夕何夕。

 

Old men ought to be explorers

Here or there does not matter

We must be still and still moving

Into another intensity

For a further union, a deeper communion

Through the dark cold and the empty desolation.

The wave cry, the wind cry, the vast waters

Of the petrel and the porpoise. In my end is my beginning.

 

老年人應該去當探險家

去到哪裡都無所謂

我們就是必須不斷地前進

進入另一個強烈激情的時刻

與天地精神更加契合,更加融為一體

穿過黑暗的寒冷,空洞的荒涼

海濤在呼號,風在呼號,那廣大海域

是海燕與海豚的居所。我的結束亦是開始。

雄伯手記970919b

September 21, 2008

雄伯手記970921b

 

   早上醒來難得的興致良好,著手替家教學生編一份她專用的練習講議,花了大約兩小時,正淋漓盡致間,也就是我英文打字正順暢間,滑鼠浮標突然卡住,不管鍵入什麼動作,它就是紋風不動。無可奈何,只好按取消關機。不料重新開機後,原有Word的檔案內容,竟然全部消失。用實用功利的角度來說,等於我兩小時是做白工了。當然用豁達的心胸來說,我這兩小時並非毫無所得。我將課文逐字打過並編排,等於是深入地閱讀內容結構的精義跟啟發。

 

   靜下來想一想,我們人生的處境何嘗不是如此。一場地震、颱風、火災、或意外,都可能將我們畢生的努力跟心血付諸東流。若我們執著於金錢財物的擁有,往往只有痛不欲生四字可以形容。但是提神太虛而俯瞰,人的肉身本來就是有限期限的擁有,託附於肉身之上的金錢財物或名聲成就,更是渺茫而微不足道。老子道德經所說的天地不仁,不完全是殘酷,有人只是詮釋為冷漠indifferent或荒謬absurd,是有些道理的。

 

      筆記型電腦被惡意病毒入侵,首先是Explorer 一再被卡住,猛關機幾次後,發現每次開新檔案,那個檔案就被卡住。求助於電腦保護軟體,得到回訊是要更新掃毒程式,也就是說要附上信用卡號碼,購買使用費或保護費。問題是電腦現在已經在病毒入侵中,鍵入信用卡號碼豈不是自投羅網?無可奈何,只好釜底抽薪地將系統重灌,恢復到電腦初出廠時的狀態。原以為以前備份的文件資料尚可應用,重灌後卻發現無法開啟,也就是說全部蕩然無存了。

 

  

雄伯手記970919b

September 20, 2008

雄伯手記970919b

 

   夜間十點多前往後車站接睽違已久聽經聞法歸來的W,令我瞿然心驚的倒不是停車廣場不知何時被重新規建成分隔中央人行道的兩邊綠地,而是W走近車門時神秘的莞爾一笑的道謝稱呼:「謝謝你!陳老師!」

 

   掠過我心頭的意象是我青少年時代的初戀情人綠,親暱相偎時的喃喃自語是「雄」,最後接到分道揚鑣的信札開頭稱呼是「陳先生」。時光差距將近五十年,個人軼事的歷史似乎重演乎 History repeats itself)?

 

  從大陸自助旅行歸來的我,好不容易藉著陸續回籠的個別家教,將在家待不住的心猿意馬安頓下來,一下子又開始浮動起來。夜不能入寐,索性起來學達摩面壁般在電腦螢幕前端詳良久,終於發現一個腳踏車旅行大陸一年的旅伴徵求。於是興奮地上MSN與之連繫閒聊起來。

 

  重新回到床上的輾轉沉思,開始澄清起來。想到美國作家費茲哲羅

Fitzgerald小說「夜未央」Tender is the Night,男主角最後拎著一個皮箱揮手離去時,黯然的身影是孤孑一人。終於了悟,自古以來人生困境的面對始終是一已的事,旅伴的尋求只是心理恐懼的撫慰的幻覺。

 

   讀哲學家德勒茲Deleuze的千高臺A Thousand Plateau,一再啟示人生永恆的輪迴eternal occurrence不是重覆repetition,而是無窮潛力的的變異difference。人生不應該是僵化定義的名詞符號,奄奄一息,而是具有生成become能力的動詞,虎虎生風。信乎哉!

 

雄伯手記970910b

September 9, 2008

雄伯手記970910b

 

    B生日宴客,良酒佳餚,此時不醉,更待何時?於是暢懷暢言:「吾輩不是為上輩而活,就是為下輩而活,就是沒想過為自己而活!年滿六十五歲,國內飛機票半價、火車票半價、渡輪半價、風景區門票半價、此時不遊,更待何時?」

 

   

雄伯手記970907b

September 7, 2008

雄伯手記970907b

 

剛剛騎腳踏車經蘇花公路到羅東回來,獨自坐在沙發上沉思今後的何去何從,就接到K的電話說,阿秋在舊酒廠的藝文中心開畫展,問我要不要去參觀。

 

初識阿秋是好幾個月前的事。那是跟隨C等人前往她在鹽寮的簡陋畫室參觀閒談,對於她悍然捨棄都市的外在榮華,專注於內在性靈的探索,心悸不已,回來後在自己的部落格上寫了幾句雜感。過了一段日子,我忽然心血來潮,騎著腳踏車沿著東海岸前行,想到阿秋畫室那裡跟她聊一聊。不料心思恍惚中竟然騎過頭,一路迷茫地前進,繞過台東、南迴楓港、大埔、霧社,武嶺,足足十天才回到花蓮。

 

七月下旬我獨自到大陸雲南自助旅行,在麗江束河古鎮的一家商店看到滿架的普洱茶,首先浮上心頭的就是阿秋的慣常飲料。徘徊幾次,終於還是沒有決心買下來。畢竟我必須維持背包行李的數量的輕便,才能有登山步行、騎單車、及搭乘公交車的機動能力。

 

在海螺溝攀登千年冰川參差錯落的岩礁遺跡時,大概步履有點恍惚不穩,仰起頭看到一位妙齡少女興高采烈奔跳過來,伸手拉我上去。下山時頭暈發燒,只好搭坐人力竿轎,在轉彎處又邂逅那位少女。她一看到我,又是一陣興高采烈跟我招呼。當時使我印象深刻的倒不完全是她及時的幫助或溫馨的關懷,而是人與人之間,正如人與自然之間,都存在心靈互相悸動的可能性。

 

阿秋的畫作有些有點抽象空靈,有些卻是樸實中見真情,如簡陋的兩邊板門兼門前的參差樹幹樹蔭。她自言作畫的心情是要還原自然的真實面貌,這當然不完全是專業藝術技巧的鎚鍊,也是她信仰西藏密教專注內心奧秘的修行。反過來說,你觀賞畫作時能不能產生心靈互相悸動的可能性,關鍵可能不完全在她,而是在你自己了。

 

 

 

Deleuze 006 德勒茲

September 3, 2008

Deleuze 006 德勒茲

Love Is For Other People 愛是為了別人

By James Brusseau

Translated by Springhero 雄伯

 

                Surface Love 表面的愛情

   Alienation pushes into the danger zone for Socrates when Eberhart leaves fiction to record her occasional foreignness from herself. The first medium is romance, romances separating through her various unorthodox loves, and consequently separating Eberhardt herself as the lover.

 

    對於蘇格拉底,疏離逼進危險地帶,耶帛哈卻讓幻想來記錄她偶爾的自我疏離感。第一個媒介就是浪漫情懷,穿差於她多采多姿的越軌情事,結果使耶帛哈自己跟情人終於分道揚鑣。

 

    At twenty-four she married Slimene Ehnni, a Muslim with French nationality. Beforre the union, she reflected in her journal on him and on those who came before. She wrote:

 

    二十四歲時她嫁給一位名叫思立門的法裔回教徒。結婚之前,她在日記中沉思有關他及前面幾位情人:

 

    Incontestably, I love Taste…the man who sensually attracted me the least , at least physically…

    But all that is so distant! More so in that the memory of these men creates no emotion in me; she who believed to love them, these distant ghosts, is dead. And she who lives is so different she is no longer responsible for past wanderings.

 

     無可爭議地,我愛蛻思特,並不為性感的男人所吸引,至少不為魁梧的男人所迷。

     但是這是多麼遙遠!特別是回想起這些男人,我並不感情激動。曾經愛過這些遙遠鬼魂般得她已經死了。存活的她截然不同,不再為過去的漫遊負責。

 

   How can this be sensible? Eberhardt writes she loves Taste and within a few sentences insists her love for all those coming before Slimene, including Taste., has died. She loves Taste, she loves only Slimene. Psychologists are paid to frown on contradictions like these; they diagnose Eberhardt as suffering cognitive dissonance. Eberhardt’s biographers follow their general lead. Under Freud’s influence, they struggle to explain her incoherent writing by emphasizing that always reliable culprit, childhood familial difficulties. They assume traumatic episodes from her formative years linger in her psyche and unsettle it now.

  

    這如何說得通?耶帛哈寫到她愛蛻思特,可是又用幾個句子堅持她對先前情人的愛,包括蛻思特的愛,都已經死了。對於像這樣的矛盾,花錢請心理咨詢師都不見得能得到認同。耶帛哈將會診斷為遭受認知分裂的痛苦。耶帛哈的傳記家只好按圖索驥,受到佛洛依德的影響,他們設法解釋她作品的前後不一貫,以強調當事人始終一致,只是在童年遭受家庭的創傷。他們假定她在成長歲月有過創傷軼事,留連在她心裡,使她不穩定。

 

. I will propose a different explanation for the conflicting loves, but I admit Eberhardt ushered from a traumatized, bizarre family. Her mother left an aristocratic husband in Russia to run off with her children’s deranged tutor. After reading Switzerland, the two conceived and raised Isabelle in reclusiveness. She was educated in her dilapidated home, mainly in post-apocalypse survival skills and foreign languages. She slept outside with the snails. For all its discomfort and eccentricity, her literary upbringing and bestial habits would prove invaluable for her traveling life in North Africa. Another childhood habit she picked up was drugs. Following her older brother’s inglorious lead, she quickly became addicted and sank into a cycle of manic depression. During one bout, she expressed a wish to die. Her nihilistic father hurried to retrieve a loaded pistol. Happily, she refused his mad charity. Surreal episodes like this fill page after page of the biographies. Taken together, or even in part, they can explain away nearly any inconsistency in her memory or writings. The strategy is simple and effective: whenever she writes or does something contradictory, say she was addled.

 

對於這些衝突的愛,我想提出不同的解釋,但是我承認耶帛哈確實是來自受到創傷的古怪家庭。她的母親離開在蘇俄的貴族的丈夫,跟她小孩的狂熱教師私奔。到達瑞士後,這兩個人在隱居處生下伊莎貝拉。她就在這種破落的家中接受教育,主要是學會如何浩劫餘生的技巧及外國語文。她晚上常在屋外與野獸共眠。

儘管遭遇坎坷及怪僻,她文學的教養及狂野的習性對於她在北非旅行時有莫大得的裨益。另一個她染上的童年的習慣是吸毒。受到她哥哥不良的引導,她很快地上癮,陷入鬱躁沮喪的循環。發作時,她表達死亡的渴望。她的父親居然無所謂地還去拿來一把裝上子彈的手槍。幸運地,她拒絕他瘋狂的好意。在傳記中就充滿了這樣匪夷所思的軼事。無論是整體或分開,他們都足以解釋她的回憶或作品中間的矛盾。我的方法簡單有效:凡是她寫作或行徑矛盾的地方,就說是她精神錯亂。

 

  

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September 2, 2008

雄伯手記970902b

 

    土樓之遊,我們九個人包租一部麵包車,每天700元,每人平均起來一天80元,比起雲南之旅的200元,可說是經濟實惠多了。

 

    原先都是陌生人,透過網路的徵伴連繫彼此聚集一車,考量的就是分擔車費跟住宿費。其它各有各人的規劃,相聚四天,有的甚至不知其姓,遑論其職業、背景、或心態的瞭解了。反正四天過後,分道揚鑣,彼此又恢復陌生人的角色。這就是現代人不得不習慣的情份,好聚好散。

 

    回程機上,看到報紙刊登內政部改善婚姻登記,上網即可辦妥,離婚則需經過協商手續,被女性主義團體抨擊為:「何必讓兩個痛苦的人長期綁在一起?」不禁黯然失笑。似乎現代人的婚姻觀念也已經走進精打細算好聚好散的階段,傳統上性愛生情愛,患難相扶持作為傳統白首偕老的信仰已經開始動搖。作為現代人,存活的基本守則是學會無情,至少不要自作多情,否則痛苦的鐵是自己。然而,無情的一生有活跟沒活又有什麼差別?本來是求存活的守則,到頭來卻反成死亡的淵藪,悲乎!

   

 

  

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September 2, 2008

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    回來不到一個月,不安於室的遊心又蠢蠢欲動。一個是在網路上連繫到福建四天土樓行程,另一個是自己在網路上徵求旅伴的長期「單車中國行」。後者無人回應,我自己也是嚮往與恐懼交加,對於自己是否真的有勇氣跟能力長期單車獨行大陸,一再猶豫掙扎,心情起伏波動很大。所需的旅費在行前一天的黃昏郵局關門才提領轉換成人民幣,到了晚上上完家教後,又覺得尚有可為,棄之可惜。又將一大疊人民幣從背包中拿出,唯恐一時衝動,真的勇往直前去也。

 

    我搭乘凌晨的莒光號火車前往松山,轉乘計程車到達機場去跟旅伴會合,趕七點到金門的早班飛機。一共有八人,還有一位前一天先出發,約好在鼓浪嶼會合。鼓浪嶼雖然不大,徒步環島一圈也差不多要兩三個小時,大家邊觀看風景,邊閒聊,也不覺得有什麼疲累。晚餐後閒逛附近的舊豪宅區,才發現其具有百年歷史建築物的特有品味,顯現早年華僑衣錦榮歸故里及西方殖民商人的優渥生活,令人歎為觀止的一面。

 

   土樓建築特別的地方在於使用土磚形成圓形或方形的外牆,充當內部木材結構的主樑的支撐,兼當抵擋外來土匪攻擊的堅固圍牆。南靖、塔下、永定的山丘地帶幾乎遍佈,有大有小,有客家有閩南。較有歷史淵源的名樓都已經被列為世界文化遺產保護,進入時要收10元到30元不等的規費,有些土樓群密集而宏偉,光進瞭望台下望照相都要收費20元。若請導遊解說,那倒背如流的生動描繪更是字字人民幣。有些土樓的小孩子跟隨旁聽,久了也耳熟能詳,居然毛遂自薦充當起「小導遊」,琅琅上口的架式也不遜大人多少。

 

    忽然注意到這些陪伴的小導遊女孩的人數遠多於男孩。問及源由,有一位面貌姣美的小二學生大方地解說:「那是因為政府規定,第一胎若是男生,就不能再生,若是女生還可再生。」問她:「你覺得這樣公平嗎?」她面露疑惑,但還是不失赤子之心地回答:「不公平!」