雄伯手記9233

D0810

人使用汽車、電腦、抽水馬達等機器固然方便,但是一但發生故障,或接觸不良,就足夠讓你花時間花金錢,折騰老半天,好像是你是為它而活,而不是它為你而活。延伸言之,作為同林鳥的夫妻,何嘗不是如此?權利與義務一但呈現單方面傾斜,只有依靠強烈的倫理信念支撐下去。

 

重讀英國作家「喬治、吉幸」George Gissing的「田園散記」The Private Papers of Henry Ryecroft, 結尾一篇所表現對生命的恬淡圓融的心態,深獲我心,忍不住試譯下來。

 

So, once more, the year has come full circle. And how quickly; alas, how quickly! Can it be a whole twelvemonth since the last spring? Because I am so content with life, must life slip away, as though it grudged me my happiness? Time was when a year drew its slow length of toil and anxiety and every frustrate waiting.

時間週而復始地飛馳過去,十二個月份一輪替,又是一年春天。只因為我滿足於生命,生命反而瞬息消逝,吝惜給我任何快樂?反之,生活若是勞苦憂慮,挫折等待,時間就沉重難挨。

 

Further away, the year of childhood seemed endless. It is familiarity with life that make time speed quickly. When every day is a step in the unknown, as for children, the days are long with gather of experience; the week gone by is already far in retrospect of things learnt, and that to come, especially if it foretell some joy lingers in remoteness.

更搖遠的童年時代顯得更加永恆,那是因為對生命過於熟稔,使得時間快速過去。對小孩而言,每天都是走向未知,日子充滿了經驗的累積,每週過去回顧起來,像是學到些什麼。未來的日子則像是遲遲來臨,特別是有歡樂的預期時。

 

Past mid-life, one learns little and expects little. Today is like unto yesterday, and to that which shall be the morrow. Only torment of mind or body serves to delay the indistinguishable hours. Enjoy the day, and, behold, it shrinks to a moment.

一過中年,學習得少,期望也少。今天就像昨天,再來就是明天。只有心靈和肉體受到折磨時,才感受到時光相同難挨。享受今朝罷!轉眼間它就消失無蹤。

 

I could wish for many another year; yet, if I knew that not one more awaited me, I should not grumble. When I was ill at ease in the world, it would have been hard to die; had I lived to no purpose, that I could discover, the end would have seemed abrupt and meaningless.

我真希望能再多活幾年,可是萬一我獲知來日無多時,我也了無遺憾。假如我過得不痛快,倒會死得不甘不願,假如我生活茫無目標,我會覺得死得突兀而無意義。

 

Now, my life is rounded; it began with the natural irreflective happiness of childhood, it will close in the reasoned tranquility of the mature mind. How many a time, after long labor on some piece of writing, brought at length to its conclusion, have I laid down the pen with a sigh of thankfulness.

現在,我生命已經圓融:起自童年純樸無知的快樂,終於成熟心靈的安詳寧靜。多少次,在勞神草構一篇文章,終於大功告成,我放下筆,謝天謝地舒鬆一口氣。

 

The work was full of faults, but I had wrought sincerely, had done what time and circumstance and my own nature permitted. Even so may it be with me in my last hour. May I look back on life as a long task duly completed—a piece of biography; faulty enough, but good as I could make it—and, with no thought but one of the contentment, welcome the repose to follow when I have breathed the word “ finis.”

作品錯誤頻仍,但是我已經是誠懇從事,就時間、環境、和天性所准許盡力而為了。我生命的最後時刻,也不妨作如是觀。願我回顧我的一生,有如適時完成一件漫長的工作,一篇自傳,錯誤連連,但是已經盡力而為,滿足安詳,輕呼一聲「結束」了。

 

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